Sunday night PAR-TAY!

Hope your Sunday was as Sassy as this!

XOXO
Holly

Little Miss Gamer and Holly Shock unite!

I can't believe I didn't tell you sooner!

Back in august, I was on my friend's show, Little Miss Gamer.

Here it is, my pretty pansies! I present to you "Wii Fit on Elm Street"




In case you don't recognize me, (as I am in regular garb rather than glitz and glitter), I am the friend who wants the Wii Fit.

Be sure to watch the whole thing, cause Lindsey (aka Little Miss Gamer) and I are super bad after the credit roll.
Oh and now you know my real name. Ugh, what a shame. Oh the price of sharing!

Enjoy the horror flick!

Bugs Galore! Eat some more!

i don't know WHO started that little rhyme, my cutiepies, but let me tell you...IT IS TRUE. With my recent move here to NYC, I have experienced the blessing of the bed bug. But how do you not let them bite?

Here's the skinny on the blood sucking monsters that are flatter than your first girlfriend and hungrier than the Olsen twins:
1) They detect you by your breath and your body heat. This little Ms. Shock found that out the weekend I spend sleeping in the tub. How cold and terrible it was, my darlings. I couldn't use my blankets because they were on my bed and I feared spreading these little nasties to the tub. WELL-they did it for me! Aren't they sweet? As sweet as your aunt who calls you "healthy" and tells you that you have a "good personality"

2) They only come out to bite you when you are in REM sleep. So basically when you think you are getting quality beauty rest, they are crawling on your face leaving you with these red bump bites that you are probably allergic to. I am.

3) They eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I'm serious! If you have 3 bites in a row that you noticed after you woke up-my dear darling davie, you probably have bed bugs.

4) Bed bugs don't like light, but leaving your night light on won't save you. They have a need to FEED. They are resilient too, surviving for almost a year without a blood meal. A BLOOD MEAL?!!! You have got to be kidding me! It's times like this that remind me that I am made of meat and not sparkles or sunshine or any of that shit. Lemme tell you, I, like Cypher, enjoy the dream.

Oh dreams-remember when you were not filled with terror and freight about little armies of marching blood suckers? Remember the sex dreams that didn't end in insectaphobic horror, when bugs didn't spew forth from where no bug should spew?

Perhaps it is just me, but I became SEVERELY freaked out about these bed bugs. I was frazzled, fried, and super electrified at 3am. I thought I could outwake the bugs. But the bugs do come. Oh yes they do, my blood filled meat puppets.

I think most people think bed bugs are for dirty people. And while I AM quite dirty (purrrrrr!), I run a tidy household. Snappy, laundered, crisp household. The dishes are in the sink only when I am too blissed to bother with them. However, someone brought them in from somewhere, and get this, because bed bugs WALK (thank god they don't fly) they simply WALK through the walls when they sense you. They are coming back like they are going out of style in places like NYC, which are hot beds for travel and exchanges. Exchange of money, sex, education, ideas and...bed bugs.

When i woke up to tiny little splotches of blood on my sheets and itchy legs I knew something was way wrong.

They inject you with an anti-coagulant to help keep your blood flowing-WHAT IF THIS HOLLY WAS A HEMOPHILIAC?
I mean I am not, and they don't cause disease (except anemia in extreme infestations) but, really, what if?

So I mucked around the internet finding ways to get rid of them and I found this article in the NYTimes

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/11/27/nyregion/27bugs.html

In this article we learn that bed bugs plague everyone (duh-you have blood too!). Even the exterminator who spends most his day "talking to hysterical people" WELL I was one of those people! Invading your bed is like getting attacked in your shower alla Psycho or worse...Judith.



If you are fortunate to have a bed bug problem and you live in NYC, call 311 PRONTO and save yourselves!! Report the issue to your landlord, to 311 and get some diatomaceous earth from http://www.bedbugpowder.com or wherever you can find it.

I am now almost bed bug free, but you never know. My neighbors probably still have them.
Here's to a good night sleep, my darlings. You know I am always looking out for you-be it on the stage or in your beds.

kiss kiss
bite bite
Holly Shock
says good night.

You just realize it is the same theater all over again.

So after the big crash bang landing of FAH-bulous Ms. Shock here in NYC, you kinda start to realize that it is the same here as anywhere.

Except waaaaaay bigger. It's like boobs. They are still boobs no matter whom they belong to. They might look bigger, perkier, rounder, saggy, (or whatever floats your laundry) but babycakes, thems still TITS.

So I landed and my arrival was a fanfare. Literally. I moved in during the West Indian Day Parade, which happens to be the largest parade in ALL of this great state of New York. Well, fuck fuck fuck little titty lovers. My "U-haul driving" skills are much lower than my "driving in Brooklyn" skills on my chart of things I do really really well. I had the help of my lovely friends Lindsey, Chad, and one Timothy O'carryitall to help me out.

But it has been so long since then, you cry! I know little chirpies, I know. I've been the busiest of all my life and honestly-I don't want to talk about it now. I'd rather tell you the what I think rather than the what I'm doing. Skip the boring stuff and get to the goods, you know?

I think New York is the place to experience everything really really fast. Like, those slow melt chocolates that are actually really really small and who sucks on them slowly anyways? I just swallow! *wink* Well New York reminds me of those tasty morsels, except here, you swallow the WHOLE bag whole, and wonder what the HELL you just ate. You have no idea, you know it's supposed to be chocolate and surely NOTHING else tastes like chocolate.

Except I am trying to swallow NYC and it got stuck and now I have to wait for it to melt. I am SO impatient.

Since I've been here, little birdies, my nest has been what's got me down. I've had gunshots in the building, a double homicide on my doorstep, solicitation for christ, the french language, and sex, and a stabbing in my hallway.

oh and the bed bugs. Let us not forget about the bed bugs.

Every moment I am not in this nest I found in Brooklyn, I am at school. Dancing my heart out. Perhaps I waited too long and grew too accustomed to the way I like to live to make anything bearable in order to accomplish my dream.

Except I am accomplishing my dream, with accolades and honors. It just doesn't feel as good as I thought it would.

Oh the irony. Maybe that's what happened to this city for me. It's chocolate gone bad and it's taken on the metallic taste of the streets in the ghetto. Or maybe I just don't like chocolate anymore at all.

But I've learned so much. And that, kiddies, is the all important flying star across your television convincing everyone that they learned something. Anything!

So I'll keep scooting along, shedding my star dust everywhere I go. I just hope I have enough to get me to the part of the tootsie pop center that I crave so much. That perfectly preserved chocolate goodness that no metal can ever tarnish.


Toodles for now. I'll be strapping my taser on these mean streets. It's Holly Shock a-go-go run for cover time out there folks.

This city just isn't as pretty as the pictures. Nope Nope.

Although, you should go to and check out the travel section. Cause there are some pretty pretty pictures that my guy made :)

Here I am in Brooklyn, the Broke down palace of NYC!!

WELL,

What an adventure these past few months have been! And true to form, I am blogging just before I have a show!
As soon as I began my 'serious dance training' I joined up with four different student choreographers
(the maximum allowable participation-and well, you know I am all about maximums!) to begin rehearsing for the Hunter Dance Department Fall Works in Progress Concert! I am in some very interesting dances and am quite excited about my upcoming NYC debut!

I have five performances in four days! Finally, bookings as frequent as they should be. Now I know this is college, and even mandatory for the program, but it is still a job to me, my honey-bugs. Don't get your wings all in a sticky fit about how I am not getting paid. I am paid in grades here. Oh to be in college!

Really though, What I want to purr in your ear is the dramatic change of pace my little kitten paws are experiencing. NYC is just about the biggest contradiction I have ever experienced. Much more than a boring stripper or a kitten in a bathtub. Obviously my dears! But I have never been so immersed in a people who want you out of their way want to get in your way at the same time. So strange that my subway encounters expose me from people who want to talk my poor little ears off, to people whom snark at me because I sneezed at their bad perfume.

It's worth it to splurge on the scent, honey, not the application. Holy milk bowls.

It isn't that I don't like it here. I love the little moments that must be the glorifications of this city that people promote. I am just attempting to put some pieces together. Like when I say that there were gunshots in my building, people don't bat an eyelash but when I say that I live near the hospital where the women was laying dead on the floor for thirty minutes (http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/07/01/waiting.room.death/ ) they react as if it somehow affected them.

Sooo...call me a cat in a tree but my new life is a bit scary sometimes. I guess that my lesson here is that if the media covered it, then it must be important. People only read headlines right?

Just before I take the stage...

Oh deer!! My junebugs...

I will admit my last post was boasting with confidence, cleavage, and cleverness, don't you think? I love that about me, but what I love even more is my ability to talk about my panties all scrunched up in a bunch!
It is the eve of my move, and I feel as if I am about to take the stage with no music, no choreography, no script, and maybe even worse? No audience.

It is true though. There comes a time (I'm told) when you aren't doing anything for anyone but yourself. Wait, I think I said that. Well, I AM wise! But the truth is that there is a comfort and a familiarity when you know your audience. You can predict your performance, and if you are really perceptive, even predict the reaction you will receive. Burlesque was always predictable for me here in Rochester, NY. Not that I didn't love the time we spent together, as obviously I'm sweating in my cat-suit about my new endeavor. Have you ever tried to peel off a cat-suit while you are totally teeming with perspiration? Ewww...

Regardless of wardrobe, I feel unprepared. I feel unrehearsed. I feel like grabbing up those fans and planting my pretty ass right back in your faces. Lucky for you, and very, very bad for me.

When I was just a little burly babe, my mother dressed me up in my dance costume and we were going to perform for the whole family in the living room. I wanted to charge a penny (I was entrepreneurial even then!), and my mother was to be in the show. I was ready, the small change collected, and it dawned on me that my mother didn't have a costume. Maybe to any other eight year old girl this was acceptable, but not to me-oh no. Everything was ruined! All our rehearsing! All my efforts! Only to be marred by a lack of sequins!? Ugh, I was (am?) so dramatic.
I was very shy ( do you believe that? you should), and very wary of anything new. I, however, knew that there was serious candy money on the line and I bullied myself out there and danced my little heart out. I think I bought root beer barrels at the store later.

A few years later-I auditioned for the school talent show, totally unrehearsed. I actually improvised the whole thing!
I made it in, I won first place, and was even on the local news. A very big deal for a ten year old performer lass like myself.

Even then, I knew I was doing something unorthodox. I transformed from the production perfect living room star to the fabulous free for all highlight on the six o'clock news.
And If I can do that, then I can do this. I think. I hope. I know.

And about my mother, she has come to every one of my shows. Isn't she wonderful? We even dance afterwards, and she never even wore lipstick. I suppose it's because I've found a new artistic obsession, but I also suppose it's because she is probably the best performer I have ever known and I like to study the greats. ;)

Crickets, this kitten is off to dreamland. I just hope I don't dream of walking into class without my fur!
Behave now! I'm sure we will all laugh at this later. or now. How about this, you laugh now, and I'll laugh later. Deal?

xoxo
Holly

Updates in case anyone is still actually checking this!

Awwww, what a lazy burly blogger I've been!

However it has been time well spent away from the computer, because my nose was in the books! So with this big heavy brain of mine, and all my costumes and pretty crap-I'm schlepping off to the city to make my brain cost just a whole lot more.

This isn't just a temporary change of location for me, little kittens. It is an entire overhaul of my dancing life. I'll be studying dance at CUNY Hunter College! Isn't that exciting? So, the burlesque fans will take an even bigger step to the back of the dressing room to make way for some serious knowledge. Not that I won't be having any fun!
My dream has always been to dance in New York City, and now I'm doing it. Really the core of burlesque is to do what you can dream up, and I have dreamt UP and now I'm doing it. Being creative and tenacious is a key for any performer.

To do something well, anything really you need:

1. Dedication to yourself and your goal. It won't happen on it's own and you gotta work your tush off for what you want. You can't be a lazy dancer! I've never heard of or worked with one!

2. Direction. You've got to give yourself orders and live up to them! I didn't have a director or a dance mentor to get me here. I'm my own boss, which means I respect what I say.


I'm sure you need other stuff too, but seeing as how I do everything for myself (especially blogging here), even down to my last sequin, I'll come up with more advice that helps me out.

Maybe it will help you out too? I haven't a clue!
That is my update for now, fuzz-butts.

stay well and you can wipe those tears away now that I've returned. It will be allll better now. :)

toodles tootsies!